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Friday, February 10, 2006
Its been a year and I still think That Valentines day is the 3rd worst holiday ever invented (the 2nd is Arbor day). I've seen a butt load of break ups and problems from this day. I fear this day because now I have something to fear. No matter how much you try, you can't avoid this sense that valentines day is out to doom anyone.
You get put up to a sense of what I said year ago, that nothing is good enough, but that could be your undoing. I dunno, I still don't like this holiday. However I do get to spend time with Kaylyn, so that makes it even.
Posted at 09:13 pm by CrazayChristan
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Sunday, January 08, 2006
First weekend of the semester, and I almost already started the
semester off wrong. (Again) They switched my english teachers and I
fought that until I got back. Problem solved.
I had two chances to spend time with Kaylyn this weekend, but something
is keeping me from doing so or something. Friday we had an eye doctor
thing, and staturday I didn't get her message until too late. I got to
talk to her before she left though (she wouldn't go take a shower
because of me and I asked her if that was her excuse for this wek or
something. FuN stuff.
I suddenly got into Myspace, mainly just because there are more band
people there. I'm trying to get them all on my friends list, good luck
to me.
Today hasn't been eventful or really anything.
Posted at 02:20 pm by CrazayChristan
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Sunday, January 01, 2006
ok, I'm gunna try to cram a buttload of info on what's happend that I havn't updated on.
(I might have stuff that was already on here, bare with me.)
We got 29th in BOA and there was this nazi lady there (inside joke)
I've been happily taken by Kaylyn and things've been great (aside from today and stuff)
I've been asked like 10 times wether or not I've kissed her, which I've
said no. I'm awesome, and call me a foot washer (even though I'm
Catholic) but I'm saving a first kiss. Maybe for a special day that I'm
planning? To be continued....
I've been slipping spiritually meaning I was much better last year. I think I'm improving though.
I'm...I guess that's it. I'll update if I think otherwise
Posted at 09:24 pm by CrazayChristan
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Well, I figured this would be a good day to start my regular updating.
As you may imagine, I've been having a good life. Kaylyn has been awesome and every day I feel so much better with my decision to lower my defences...Until now.
Something is wrong, and the wierdest thing is, I didn't expect it. Usually I can see trouble like this from miles away. I guess I should've kept an eye open. I wish I could figure out what, because I doubt she'll let me know. I dunno if she even knows.
I know I know, you're wondering what the deal is. Why the sudden jolt?
Well, if you've counted, we're 4 months into our relationship. Things have been great. For me at least. Now that I think about it, I'm more of a stress for her than she is for me. I told her I'd let her know if something was bothering me, but I can tell that something is bothering her.
Now to why
We were in a conversation on AIM, and she asks me "Do you think we are diffrent?". I ask "what do you mean?" She says "I don't know". Now, I realize there is a problem because she only says I don't know when she is hesitant to tell me something.
I try to calm things down, less mellow them, make things more comfortable by saying
"Well, I'll just answer and you tell me which fits your questiong better
1.Yes
2.No
3.Is that a mexican joke?"don't ask.
She wasn't humored, now I knew there was a serious problem. She says she has to go, and me being the loose person I am tried to unmellow things without ruining it and said "that's cheating" she says "I can't help it" I say"mmhmm sure" We wish good night and RIGHT before she leaves she says "I think we are".
Now, I know what you're asking, "why don't you call her?/Drive to her house/ what ever" well, her parents are quite anal from what I know, so if I call I'll get a big ole "she's going to sleep and it's past talk time" or somthing.I can't drive (yet) and I can't think of "what ever".
I don't worry much (any more) but even this will knock minutes or hours off my sleep. We'll see...we'll see...
This hasn't been a good day. Not good at all. If anything goes wrong here, I don't think I could forgive my self.
-Joshua
Posted at 09:02 pm by CrazayChristan
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Saturday, December 17, 2005
....yeah
Posted at 12:19 pm by CrazayChristan
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Sunday, October 02, 2005
ALLLLLLRIIIIGHTY THEN!
Well, today is my welcome home from our first marching competition at the tornument(DAMN SPELLING) of Champions. We got 12/25 and were 2 places away from finals. It's ok, it's because we didn't have visuals. Easy fix.
Now for the Drama bo bama,
I was with Kaylyn, on the 4hour bus ride to Carolton. It was awesome for our first "date" I suppose you could call it. She didn't talk much and we were sitting next to eachother, but we were in like no physical contact. I was making conversation anyway, so it was fun. Four hours just flew by.
After the ride we got to the competion where we got into uniform and warmed up. It was my first time marching with my strad and I was awesome on it. On the field I was aggressive and loud:
1st movmnt: I owned, I got all the horn movements and missed like ONE set.
2nd movmnt: I pwned all, I was musical, marched well, and I got both turns.
3rd movmnt: This was shaky, I missed one dot completely, but on the feature I was AWESOME. Kaylyn tripped and said someone stepped on her (She stepped on Mark actually and tried to blame it on me. :-P)
I had fun. that's what matters ^_^.
Ok, after that we went to the hotel where Kaylyn was really tired. I told her I would call her today to bug her. She didn't belive me, I told her she shouldn't doubt me. After I got my luggage and my key, I went to my hotel room and I called her. We had a short conversation before the other guys hung me up >_<. Stenet prank called her and she hung up on him without question.
I slept really well. First time in a long time. I woke up at about 8:07am and I took a shower. Afterwards I woke everyone up and we went to breakfast at 9:15. At about 10 we went down on the bus and not 5min in there and Kaylyn sees a fork (literally) in the road. I argue that it's a spoon (I know its a fork, but we just sound so cute arguing over this). We head off to the Grapevine mall and walk around. Kaylyn, me, and Miranda in a group. I took Mirandas' purse and I got onto Kaylyn for checkin out the Abrocrombie guys. She tried to convice me it wasn't a problem and I said "That's ok, because Victorias Secret is comming up. She did her little "ugh" and walked away.
We kept walkin though, and I took Mirandas purse. I wore it around and Kaylyn just kept calling me "girly" in which case I told her that she was indirectly calling herself Gay. (Who goes out with a girl and doesn't call themselves gay?)(besides guys -_-') It was fun and she got on to me about "flirting with other girls" which I wasn't, she just felt like poking at me. So I poked back by playing along. I told her later that she didn't trust me if she would accuse me like that. Her retort was "I trust you, just not my friends". We concluded it was me "Teddy Bearness" that made the ladies line up for me ^_^.
A few hours later, and we were on the bu headin home. At this point, me and Kaylyn had some good bonding time and we were much more comfy with eachother. There was alot of Tickling going on, and less staring. It was entertaining. We really bonded. I ended up leaning over and it suddenly became comfortable, so she played with the hair on the back of my head for a while. After that I tried to give her a hand massage, but I lost my touch and couldn't do it very well.
A few shots at Identifying cloud figures and a hairtie ring later, we "fell asleep" with me holding her and we held hands. It was so peaceful (even though a couple of plehblahfeh kept pulling hairs off of my head and hitting me in the head with what felt like a pen.) I started getting a neck cramp, but I didn't want to move. She was just too at peace and beautiful for me to disturb her (little did I know, she wasn't really asleep.). Bernies mom came by to take trash, and said "Awwww how sweet" at this point I had to give her trash and Kaylyn woke up. We got home about 10 minutes later.
Man, I gotta swallow my pride that keeps me from saying what I feel. Kaylyn deserves to hear what I have to say...now I just need to stop being so gaurded...and say it.
-<I><Font size=7 Face=brushscrd>Joshua</I></font>
Posted at 08:45 pm by CrazayChristan
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Monday, September 12, 2005
OH EM GEE JOSHUA IS UPDATING, SOMETHING HORRIBLY WRONG MUST BE GOING ON.
Nah, things are going much better. I felt like updating, and yeah.
So, I met a new guy named roger. He's a senior, I just randomly sat with him in lunch and started a conversation. Needless to say, there were many akward silences. Nice guy though.
RE is back up, and I signed up for everything. HECK YES. I'll be busy I guess.
It'd be nice if I could coordinate something, but I think all spots are taken. Oh well, I'll just have to help how I can. I can't wait!
I got to thinking today (oh yeah, that's new Joshua). Yeah, I think of how much I've already changed from last year. How much has happend. I think I recovered from my semi recent heart break (of 2 years). I'm with Kaylyn and she doesn't act akward around me, and doesn't seem scared. I feel confortable around her and I like her alot. She's very nice (a lil shy, but I can change that >_> <_<). I was reluctant to go that far. But something told me that I couldn't fear love forever. She and I care abotu eachother, I don't have to worry. I'm moving on. I'll be scarred, sure, but what's life if you didn't taste the experiance of being spiritually wounded and healed? I'll say one thing, I don't regret it, I loved her, I can say that, but she's a good friend. That's all I ask.
I spent two years trying to figure out why the world was the way it was. I found out this:
(Ha, like I'd tell you)
But seriously, I can't put it to words right here and now.
I feel compelled to thank God for giving me the friends I have. I mourn for the ones I seem to be losing, but like night to day, the darkness will only bring light. Thanks for th care I have, the support, the strength, and the love.
Thank you,
-<Font size=7 face=brushscrd><I>Joshua</font></I>
Amen
Posted at 09:25 pm by CrazayChristan
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Monday, September 05, 2005
Alright so here's the story, I havn't updated in forever I know. Sue me.
Yesterday I was talkin to Kaylin and previously she had told me she was ready to be more than friends. Over the course of that day I decided I could do that aswell and now we're together. We talked to eachother alot over the summer and the funny thing ended up that the entire time we tried not to feed feelings about eachother. Eventually I got out of her that she had "still liked me" (Can't really tell for sure when she startedO_o) and I said I had spent the summer trying not to because I didn't want to end up like before (Thorns on the rose eh?). I alsways end up doing something like that.
I can't say I know what's going to happen. Her parents say they really can't go anywhere until she's 16. Which works out because I can't either considering the position I'm in, I'd need a vehicle.
Anywho, I'm taken now, so you can stop IMing me, emailing me, and calling me beging to be Kaylin right now ^_^.
(That goes double for guys trying to be me now, ya hear?)
-<font size=7 face=brushscrd><i>Joshua</I></font>
John 3:16
Posted at 04:08 pm by CrazayChristan
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Sunday, September 04, 2005
I've got a Girlfriend now, heck yes. And she's awesome, ha to ya'll!
Posted at 09:06 pm by CrazayChristan
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Tuesday, August 30, 2005
I felt like fixing this quote:
"He who dares not to grasp the thorn,should never crave the rose." -Anne Bronte "The Narrow Way"
Mucho Gracias
Posted at 07:26 pm by CrazayChristan
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